What does that word actually encompass?
So much more than what I have put to it.
I have said I am free. Free from the past. Free from sickness. From hurt. From heart break. From all that has happened to me.
But did I ever actually fully walk in freedom. In His freedom?
Last Sunday at church God spoke to me. In the most gentle and loving way. He said, “It is okay to feel this way. To feel hurt. To remember. But don’t stay here. Move into my freedom”
For where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! And the Spirit dwells in me.
I didn’t realize until this past week how much I was actually still captive to. The closer November 11 came, the closer a whole lot of emotions came. Suffocating and paralyzingly close.
Everything from bad to good. From sickness to healing. From anger and hate to love and peace.
I didn’t know how to deal with it. To work through it.
I couldn’t on my own.
I had to turn to Him. I have to continually turn to Him. And give it up.
Give it up.
Why do I hold on to some of this crap? I am not doing myself or anyone else a favor when I do. The past is the past. And no, remembering isn’t bad. It just depends on what you dwell on.
Looking back, I was dwelling on all the let me down. The hard times. The times when I literally didn’t know if I would ever get out of bed. If I would ever be loved. If I would ever have a life.
But my dear friend challenged me. She said she renamed November 11 for me.
She said it’s my miracle day.
Because without the suffering and the pain, the life and miraculous would not be.
Without knowing darkness, one cannot know what the light truly is.
When light breaks into darkness, it changes everything.
Darkness cannot remain. It is impossible.
Unless we put up barriers. Blocks.
If we put those things up, then the darkness hides behind, under, and around them.
These past few months, I have been getting rid of these blocks. Moving them away. Good riddance. I don’t need them.
I want it to be clear. To be in pure and crystal clear light.
Light that creates rainbows.
That creates truth, peace, love, and freedom!
And I have been able to begin this process because of Him. The Spirit in me.
He is interceding for me. Cleaning me out.
Bringing me into His freedom.
To my rightful place before God, as His beloved daughter, because of what Christ has done.